To Live or Die for the Love or Your Art

Vincent Van Gogh - Van Gogh's Estate

I was in the soundclick forums, and someone posted this,

"Something to ponder in the big scheme of art...

Vincent Van Gogh is an artist who's paintings sell for millions of dollars.

His art has been celebrated and scorned, and highly sought after by consumate collectors and the masses for over a hundred years.

Vincent Van Gogh never sold one... let me say that again..

Vincent Van Gogh never sold ONE of his paintings in his lifetime. In fact his peers did much to tell him is work was worthless.

Vince would often be told his paintings sucked and so he would just paint something else over them. Xrays indicate almost half his work was painted over, each with a masterpiece underneath that will never be shared.

He ended his life by walking into a field (some accounts a dung pile) and shooting himself in the head.
When he walked home his brother asked him what he had done, Vincent replied something like 'if I am lucky I have killed myself'.

His last words were 'Sadness will last forever'."

"...The Moral of the story.

Art is a bitch" - end quote

The moral to the story, the way I see it, is not to committ suicide. You may die, before you ever know just how loved you are. He may have lived to prove everyone who discouraged him wrong, or at least long enough to create more of what so many renoun as masterpieces.

I honestly don't know at what point my music will be my source of food, housing, clothing, traveling, etc.. and I can't say life isn't hard, because it is! Having invested all that I am into faith, being the love of music that is the gift inside me, believing in being a good man to a good woman (and finding my soul mate) rather than being a playa, LIFE AND MY RELATIONSHIP IS STILL HARD. Harder than I ever imagined it would be.

Chosing the right thing to do, doesn't mean that life comes easy. To make life as free and as easy as we dream takes a lot of sacrifice and endurance (in these days). There is so much wrong in the world that we have to overcome, including our own perversions of happiness that we call our wants.

So, either you are an artist, because a creative being is who and what you are, or you don't love what you do and you only choose to exploit yourself or allow others to exploit you as a means of making money, despite the lack of love, quality, and worth of a real artist - to create for the purpose of true love.

Bills stack high, I feel like I've embarrassed myself, and lost my pride in pursuit of a happiness, of a love that only God communicated to my heart and told me it was real. Through genuine inspiration, he inspired me, and motivated me to be (and not give up). Still today, I look around and I don't feel completely fulfilled. I can't deny that I still feel rejected, and that I complicate my own life, when I feel like I am paying (in pain) more than I owe to justify my place on earth and to live with peace on earth.

I do, however, have faith. For now and forever I send up my prayers to He, who is The Most. I practice letting go of my gripes and my doubts to trust in This Experience, as I Trust in Him (completely) to be led by His Will in favor of righteousness.

Keep moving and looking ahead. Don't look back to let your love come to an end. Yes, you've given a lot and sacrificed so much, already, but you still have it, and you're still here. Your life is worth nothing without your love, so always invest love in what you do. Seeds didn't become trees in a day and slaves didn't become free in just one lifetime (or generation). You gotta do what you came to.